that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
