the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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