Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
