this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
