I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
