Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
You need Xanax blowdarts
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I need to calm my uterus...
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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