I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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