things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
