k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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