I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
God I need to hump something, right now.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize