I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
