At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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