she was so not down for the gang bang
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
