My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
