Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
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