five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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