i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
you traded sex for a burrito?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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