apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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