didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
