Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Randomize
