I accidentally had phone sex last night
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
