Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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