I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
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