Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
