Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
