Your mouth is God's brothel.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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