I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
