she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
