Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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