whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
