Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
i think i just lost a toe
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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