Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
