I am puke
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
