Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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