I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Your cock deserves a montage
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
