And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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