Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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