i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
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