Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
