R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize