I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
