so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
