Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
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