she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
