Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
