the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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