sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
