had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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