You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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