remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Randomize