First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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