Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
