I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
