you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize