Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
